My first post on my brand new blog!

Here I go!  Ok, so I've been interested in blogging for awhile & decided to finally start my own.  There are several blogs I enjoy immensely and have gotten a lot of inspiration from them & hope mine is as interesting as those I visit.  Another reason is that while I enjoy Facebook & am a true addict of that social network, I mostly keep things light on there.  I can be very cynical and a major smart alec but I utilize FB like I would a cocktail party, in that I can talk about most anything but I don't get into anything too deep & mind my manners.  You just really have to watch it on there & I keep myself toned way down.  Anyone that truly knows me should have noticed that about me. So anyway, I decided to start this blog as a place to not feel the need to check myself.  It's my blog & I'll cry if I want to. ;) 

As I am sitting here typing this, it's New Year's Eve for 2011!  This is so not how I intended to spend this festive evening.  I'm sick, the husband is sick, it looks like it may be bad weather and I decided that I could stay at home if I wanted because that's what I do.  I give myself permission to do or not do whatever I want or do not want to do.  No one can guilt-trip this gal or make me feel obligated to do something.  Sorry if that's harsh but that's how I roll, it's never anything personal. 

In three days, I will turn 40.  I have very mixed feelings about that number.  On one hand, obviously it's better than NOT turning 40 (or any other number).  But on the other, it's just so officially grown up sounding, like there are no more excuses for being a screw up.  At this point, you've either got it or you don't.  However, and I know this sounds so cliche', but I really feel good about myself at this stage in my life.  I guess your 30's are about trying to figure out who you are and your 40's are maybe about finally being comfortable and okay with it?  For the first time in my life, this past year I started feeling very comfortable & confident with myself and that was a great feeling.  My faults are many, but I'm a damn awesome person.  That's not to toot my own horn because I'm not like that.  But I know my place in this world & I think I make contributions that are worthy.  I made a vow when I turned 39 to make the last year of my 30's a great year & I feel good about that, I think I accomplished that goal.  My vow for 40 is to just do it again & then some!  One good thing that comes with age is that I think you set reasonable goals for yourself & I don't believe that anything I want to accomplish is so far out there.  Except for maybe becoming a Zumba instructor.  That will majorly require me to get way outside my comfort zone & while I want to do it, it does frighten me.  Something about all eyes being on me just makes me want to disappear.  Honestly the very thought makes feel like hyperventilating.  But I can do baby steps.


My blog is kind of plain at this point, I know.  I'll try to spruce it up a little and figure out how to do cool graphics & fonts & add pictures soon.  I have access to one of the greatest IT guys around but sometimes he & I clash when he shows me how to do stuff, so I may have to wing it on my own.

Hopefully those of you that read my blog will appreciate my honesty and who I am, even if you don't agree with me or if I annoy.  My goal is to write at least once a week, and if I write every 2 or 3 days, or *gasp* every DAY, then great!  I look forward to and encourage comments, even if something you have to say isn't a rave review.  Happy New Year to my faithful friends, I love you all!